The Farris family

2011-06-16T20:10:00.006-05:00

I've finally done it! I can feel it...this is the year! Mother of the Year award! Banners! Confetti! I'm clearing a space on the mantle for the trophy!

I already look back at old posts to laugh about some of our finer moments around here, and I just knew this one had to make the cut.

Things have just been a little "off" all afternoon. The kids got off the bus at the neighbors without asking first, then they helped themselves to her snacks without asking, then Sydney got dramatic about something or other or nothing or whathaveyou. While they are super cute, they can get super on my last super nerve. It was definitely one of those nights where 8:00 wasn't gonna cut it, so I was shooting for more like, oh, say 6:15?

So here it was getting toward 9:00, and I had given my UMPTEENTH MILLIONTH reminder about brushing teeth and jammies and peeing and and and. And then Colin wanted a drink. And not just any drink. Apple juice. But we don't have apple juice. I have milk, chocolate milk, orange juice, and he was certainly welcome to help himself to the Captain Morgan. Nope. Juice. Then, of course, I realized that he actually HAD finally gotten to his teeth, so any of the above choices were not going to work.

So, water. Water it is. With my best heavy *sigh*, I slammed open the drawer with the plastic cups, got one out, poured him some water, and slammed the cup on the counter.

"DRINK IT"!

Pause. Looking at the cup.

"Mom, really? Plain? Plain? Plain water? That's it?"

That's when I leaned down and SPIT IN IT.

"There, now it's not plain anymore. Now it's got SPIT in it".

You shoulda seen his face. Then you shoulda seen Sydney's face. Then you shoulda heard the silence. Then you shoulda been there when we all HIT THE FLOOR laughing.

Gee, I really hope they spell my name right on my trophy. Or does it just say "#1 Mom"?

2011-04-12T10:53:00.002-05:00

Look what I did for Eric. With neither his knowledge nor his consent.

And if you know Eric, I mean REALLY know Eric, you just died laughing. RIP.

2011-03-24T14:52:00.003-05:00

Well, my goal was to not post for 3 months. I came close. Kidding. It's just been that kind of winter. Maybe I'll write more about that later.

So, I'm back--and here's one from yesterday.

I was in my bathroom TRYING to get ready in the morning. As is far too often the case, Sydney was in there as well. Under foot. Up on the counter. Down on the edge of the tub. In and out of the shower. On the toilet. And she was talking. Talking and talking. And talking about talking. "When can I wear makeup?". "Why don't we have curly hair?". "Do you put deodorant on EVERY day?". "Did you know Steven Tyler has the same birthday as me?". "When can I wear a bra?". And so on and so forth. She has no mute button, no sense of personal space, and no volume control.

The following is the exchange that took place that made me laugh because it is one that I have had with EVERY SINGLE PERSON I've ever encountered. And Sydney will too, as she is...me.

Me: Sydney. You really need to disappear.

Sydney: But I love you. I'll just sit over here.

Me: Fine. Back. Over there.

Sydney: This far enough?

Me: Yes. That should work. Now SHUSH. Really. Be quiet.

Sydney: I can't.

Me: You can. Quiet.

Sydney: No, I really can't. The best I can do is to be quiet-ER. That's it.

Occasionally quiet-ER, but never quiet. We're a pair.

2011-01-04T19:34:00.002-05:00

Colin went to the orthodontist today and got 2 more brackets, some crazy wiring, and another weird elastic for his jacked-up teeth. Tonight at bedtime he prayed that all of today's work would result in slightly less jacked-up teeth. And soon.

And he ended the prayer with "Thank you in advance. Sincerely, Colin Farris".

Your move, Jesus.

2010-12-21T17:23:00.002-05:00

Sydney is a bit of a...shall we say...story stretcher. She doesn't often outright lie, but she often outright "embellishes". Therefore, at the dinner table many of her stories are met with raised eyebrows, and she is forced to defend them.

Tonight at the dinner table.

Sydney: Guys, wanna hear the saddest thing?

Us: What's that, Syd?

Sydney: Ya know Ben in my class? Guess what? He passed away.

Me: Really, Syd? Oh no. That's awful. Here's the thing, though. I'm pretty sure that Mrs. Darois would have sent me a note or something if one of your friends had passed away?

Sydney: I'm not lying! He did! He did pass away.

Colin: I don't think that's true, Sydney.

Me: Sydney, I can email your teacher, but I think you have that wrong.

Now in earnest, Sydney: You guys, he DID! He passed away to Littleton. I'm NOT LYING.

Unable to control my laughter, Me: Sydney. Do you know what "passed away" means?

Now offended that we are laughing at her: Yeah, of course I do. It means you moved.

Forehead on the table, dying laughing, Me: Sydney, passed away means someone DIED. He did not DIE, he MOVED.

Long pause.

All of us rolling in laughter. Sydney still pausing.

Suddenly, she speaks. Sydney: Well then CRAP.

US: What?

Sydney: We wrote notes to him to say we were sorry, and I think I might have written sorry you passed away. CRAP.

And we all just may never stop laughing.

That girl. I wouldn't want to imagine a day without her.

2010-11-26T12:46:00.005-05:00

We are decorating for Christmas today! And by "!", I mean...the kids are in my way today!

I just overheard Sydney say to Colin, "hold on, let me get scissors to cut you some breathing holes". I probably took longer than I should have to respond because an unconscious child is a child who is not underfoot. Amen? Anyway, when I finally did go out to the living room, they'd removed the tree from it's giant box and were using it as a coffin. Play on.

This morning we've had broken things, tangled things, and not-put-up-how-Mommy-would-like things. They've been under my feet, at my elbow, and up my behind. There's been yelling and there has been whining.

But you know what? There has also been dancing, singing along to favorite CDs, laughing, and a constant exclamation of "remember THIS?" as we open each box that has been packed away for the past 300+ days. (I'm guessing Colin could have that exact number if needed.)

I have a lump in my throat as I consider that another year has just passed. This year as we deck the halls around here, they are on my nerves. Next year, they'll probably be on my nerves again. Then there will be a handful of years where they'll most likely be--dare I say--helpful. Then they'll ask to skip it to go to the mall with their friends.

Then they'll be gone.

So today? I'll take it.

2010-11-08T19:36:00.003-05:00

I am far too immature to use the "real" names for anatomy with the kids. In our house, everyone has a "dingle"...male, female, she-male, what have you. We have a book that shows them all about babies, but the kids still believe they enter the world through the bellybutton. Whatever. Don't judge.

HOWEVER, when it comes to school and homework...I love to get down & dirty with details. I love to take the subjects & projects that they have brought home & really dig deeper to explore each topic with them. I would probably be a great homeschool mom. Except that I don't have the patience or inclination to have them home with me all year long. And I really like wine with lunch.

Anyway.

Sydney's class is discovering Native Americans during November. We've spent some time looking on the computer to really get a handle on what life was like back in "those days". I mean the 1600s and 1700s. I realize that there are still Native Americans today. Calm down.

I don't really censor what we see when it comes to academics. Syd's seen the occasional picture of a scalping, the gutting of a deer in front of the old wigwam, etc. It wasn't until tonight when she was doing a drawing for a school project, though, that I realized I should maybe have left out the parts where many of them weren't wearing shirts.

2010-11-01T09:49:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's been a month. I am going to update this thing soon.

Really. I am.

Until then...

Happy Holler-weenies!!
How cute are they?

2010-09-24T18:42:00.003-05:00

Was inviting Stephen Colbert to speak before a House panel on migrant farming a mistake? Probably. Does it make a mockery of the whole system? Yeah, I guess it does on some level.

But, really? He's hilarious. Here's my fave fave favorite quote---although it was hard to choose.

"This is America.I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American, then sliced by a Guatemalan and served by a Venezuelan in a spa where a Chilean gives me a Brazilian."

2010-09-20T06:22:00.002-05:00

So, let me get this straight.

In no way should I "interfere" with a buoy, and I should NEVER molest a lobster trap. Okay. But it would probably be okay to molest the actual lobster? Or, wait...can I molest a lobster fisherman?

What about the TRAPPING of the lobster fisherman? I could do that, right?

Mmm...decisions, decisions...

2010-09-11T20:40:00.004-05:00

Look! WE MADE BUTTERFLIES!! Oh yes, we did.

All FIVE cocoons made it, and we now have 1-2-3-4-5 butterflies flying around in there! This may not seem like a big deal, but this is not even sorta the kind of thing I usually have success with. They are so cute, and they love their oranges & sugar water. We'll be letting them go next week, but for now it's so cool to watch them chill out in there.

But here's the thing.

This.

Yeah, ummmm...that. No one--NO ONE--told me that anything other than a beautiful butterfly was going to come out of those cocoons. No one mentioned the ewwwww. I guess I just thought that they just kinda broke out, unfurled, and took off? Dude. Google tells me it's meconium, but Google lies.

That there? That's a bloody mess. You had to know I'd share it, right?! The kids' "awww"'s were quickly replaced with "ewwww"'s when they saw it all. Sydney was very offended by the whole thing, as was I---considering that I had a mouth full of cereal when I first saw it.

We are gonna put this down as a one time experience, because that nastiness is never going to get cleaned enough for us to keep that tent. It's smeared down the sides, man!

My supermom status is safe...after all, I did prove to the kids that we could turn caterpillars into butterflies. All set. Cute, yeah?!

Butterflies! from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

2010-09-05T19:16:00.002-05:00

My favorite things about Colin, #164:

When he answers the phone at home and I hear the person who called say, "What are you doing, Colin?". He will---without fail---answer, "umm, answering the phone?".

My favorite things about Sydney, #132:

When she brings her American Girl Doll in the car, she ALWAYS makes Felicity's arms & legs do The Robot along with the song on the radio. It's hilarious every time.

2010-09-02T19:48:00.004-05:00

Well, here goes! This is our butterfly habitat!

We started with seven caterpillars (I'm so bummed that both of the kids are to old to have called them caller-pitters, I'm not gonna lie). We then watched them eat, crap, spin their silk, crawl up & cocoon themselves. The pooping was a highlight, of course. They really did form the coolest cocoons--they're kinda iridescent. Only five of them made it as far as the habitat. We've got 4 that attached like they were told to the little round of cotton. And then we had one like Sydney. That one said, "actually, I'll lay right here & keep you guessing, and I may or may not feel like doing any more work at all". He's currently on the floor on a paper towel.

Best case scenario? We get to see 5 beautiful painted butterflies emerge from their cocoons, sip our sweet nectar water, and then be released from our loving hands into the bright blue sky. Worst case scenario? We have 5 shriveled cocoon turds that become nothing, 2 disappointed kids, and are now owners of a useless butterfly habitat tent.

Stay tuned!!

2010-08-27T11:04:00.003-05:00

We went to Boston yesterday. Ya know how I'm always SO GOOD about bringing a camera, and being totally prepared to report on all that happens when I'm out with the kids? Well, yesterday--for the first time in--EVER--I didn't bring my camera.

First, we met Nancy Kerrigan. This may not sound like a big deal, but I am an Olympics JUNKIE...so yay! She was standing with us in line at the candy counter, and I just couldn't resist!

No, I didn't say something like "I'm a huge fan"--THAT would've been embarrassing! I said something MUCH more subtle. Ready? I said "I don't have a camera, so can I just stare at you for a minute?"! Subtlety has always been my strong suit. She was gracious, we had some laughs, and wow. Those nostrils. They're just as big in person as they are on TV.

Just as I was recovering from having touched and talked to NANCY! KERRIGAN!, we came upon a group of street dancers. These guys.

We watched them for a little bit--they were awesome. Riiiight up until the part where they pulled Colin out of the audience to come up with them! Poor kid--he was totally game, but more than slightly confused! It ended up being hysterical...despite Colin's clear inability to break dance, maintain any sort of rhythm, or, well...anything along those lines. Then as their grand finale, they lined up 4 of the guys & Colin, then another guy ran and FLIPPED over all of them. I found a video of what they did with Colin online. Really cool.

So--learned a lesson. Bring a CAMERA!!! At all times!!!

Good day. One more week, and then it's back to school. Time flies.

2010-08-19T17:06:00.003-05:00

Why have I been too busy to keep up with the blog this summer?

Well, I've been very busy sucking ALL OF THE MELANIN out of Eric's skin!!

Wow. He's white.

2010-07-13T09:28:00.011-05:00

HIKING! WE LOVE HIKING! Well, we love getting to the top of mountains, and we like seeing cliffs and waterfalls and things along the way. Sometimes the actual HIKING isn't much fun at all.

Last Thursday, we did Mt. Kearsarge. It's a fun one because there is a cell tower on the summit to check out. There is also a fire tower building/lookout deal. We were able to go up to the lookout, and the view was crazy amazing. The ranger who was working that day also gave Colin a brochure listing ALL of the currently-in-use fire towers in New Hampshire. Oh, joy. Thanks alot, sir...I can hardly wait for him to get obsessed and for us to then have to visit each and every one. Yippee.

The hike was pretty uneventful, except for this. Yeah, that part was awesome. And I took this picture in the car on the way HOME. We were hiking earlier...ya know...during the HEAT of the day!

Here's the only other thing that was really noteworthy on that trip. Apparently, Sydney has been working on a new pose. Ha--didn't notice this one until I looked back at the pictures. She's somethin' else.

Okay, now. Yesterday's hike? What a GREAT time we had! We went with my best-friend-since-like-forever-ago Sarah and her kiddos.

Here's kinda what the whole drive up looked like.

Sydney also made everyone SHHHH! when we were hiking, because she could swear she heard the ice cream truck. Is that an early sign of dementia onset due to dehydration?

We hiked up to Arethusa Falls. SO COOL. The tallest waterfall around, and really a sight to see. So cool. See that little tiny dude at the base of the falls...green shirt? Yeah...that should give you the idea. Very cool.

We were able to chill out there for over an hour, eat some lunch, and let the kids play. There was also the occasional "GUYS! STEP BACK FROM THE EDGE, SERIOUSLY!" from the Moms.

After the falls, we tackled the hike over to Frankenstein Cliff. It wasn't a bad hike, but the cliff was only sorta-fun because there really was a higher-than-acceptable risk of death at the edge. I don't know why, but I didn't expect it to be so actually, ummmm, cliff-ish? So, we made the kids stay way away from the edge, had a quick snack, then headed down.

The hike back down? Yeah, really? It was surprisingly steep & kinda scary. The kids did great, though. I think the "biting it/eating dirt" count was Colin 1, Sydney 2, Nate 5, and Adam 2. It was a little unnerving because for much of the descent, you kinda needed to lean IN to the mountain, because the choice on your other side was a drop-off.

Here's the whole cliff part of the deal in the background from the parking lot.

And THIS??? This is my chili-cheese dog that I wolfed down when we got to the bottom. I mentioned to the lady at the lodge that it was the BEST chili-cheese dog I'd EVER had. She laughed & said that she heard that alot from people who'd just hiked for 6 hours. Ya know, that her little store also had the best water, the best Clif bars, the best ice cream, etc. Funny--it is amazing how much better food tastes when you're pretty sure you've earned it!!

A good day. A fun day. Good friends, good times.
Headed to Strawberry Banke Museum later today. Let the good times roll.

2010-07-08T20:00:00.012-05:00

GEEEEESH!! Okay, okay everyone! I get it. I just got my 413th text telling me to UPDATE! MY! BLOG! ALREADY! (Yeah, Susie...this one's for you!)

Honestly, I don't know what's been keeping me so busy. Could be the 14 businesses Eric & I run together? The two kids, various pets, volunteering, friends, appointments? Maybe all of that book reading, napping, and bonbon eating??

Okay...quick update. Pay attention. It's gonna come at you fast...

We got turtles. A bunch of turtles. Seriously. From the last week in May through the first couple of weeks in June, it's like we live on Turtle Street. They hatch all over the place, and we always find 6 or 7 or 34 turtles each year. Sometimes we keep one...until it "needs to go back to it's Mom" (read--is on it's last leg), and then we put it back in the pond & hope for the best. This year we kept one for a bit, gave 3 away, kept 2 out of Pooch's mouth, and returned the rest right to the safety of the pond.

We went to a festival and the kids turned into dogs. Or something resembling dogs. The face painter guy actually had an OPEN CAN OF BUD LIGHT on the table with his paints. Rochester, NH. Really.

I was recognized along with my friend Andrea as being an "outstanding volunteer" at Colin & Sydney's school this year. I missed the ceremony at which they called me to the front to receive these beautiful flowers by about 7 minutes. Whoops. Note that it wasn't an award for "prompt volunteer" of the year.

There's been swimming. Oh, yeah, LOTS of swimming.

As per summer tradition, there have also been neighbor kids running around the yard with the sprinklers. Playing the ever popular and always hilarious fill-my-shorts-with-water-and-make-it-look-like-I'm-peeing game. A classic.

sprinkler fun from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

We have also started our infamous "summer spreadsheet". The morning after school gets out, we make a ridiculously huge breakfast, get out our calendar, and PACK our summer full of activities. Museums, libraries, Boston, day trips, hikes, week-long trips, camping, pools, friends, more hikes, beach, more museums, and some more hikes.

Yesterday we went to the Robert Frost farm in Derry, NH. Honestly, I've lived my entire life within about a half hour of the place, but had never been. Colin got SUPER into poetry this year (thanks, Mrs. Thompson!) and fell in love with Robert Frost. Dude, seriously. What a wicked nerd.

When we got there, he had like a Frost contest with the tour guide. They were exchanging facts about Frost as well as firing off lines from poems. The guy was--needless to say--impressed. Colin finally got him when he said, "ya know what? Robert Frost's wife's name was ELINOR...but guess what??? It wasn't spelled like ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. Beat that!". I died.

Truth be told, other than watching Colin barely able to contain his enthusiasm and Sydney barely holding in her yawns, it was really very interesting. In fact, Colin's very favorite poem-- Stopping By Woods On a Snowy Evening--was written during December (the line "darkest evening of the year") and apparently Frost was struggling with realizing that he had a family at home whom he loved, but was unable to provide them with Christmas presents that year. Ouch. Here are some pictures from the farmhouse.

This would be Colin DISPROPORTIONATELY happy about sitting on the ACTUAL CRAPPER that Robert Frost sat on. (Thanks, Sarah--you totally get me).

And this would be Colin ABSURDLY excited about standing at the ACTUAL STOVE used by Robert & Elinor Frost.

And this would be Colin standing in Robert Frost's ACTUAL pantry, surrounded by all of the various what-nots one would use in their kitchen in oh, say, 1906? Side note--doesn't it look like Colin's got two prosthetic legs in this picture? Geez, that kid is skinny. Yes, there's something wrong with me. I'm just sayin'.

Colin's finest hour.

We went on our first hike of the summer today, too. I'll post all of that tomorrow. Because really? I'm tired. Night!

2010-05-11T13:34:00.004-05:00

Sydney was an integral part of picking out which things were going to be in our new herb garden this year. We were out checking on all of our plants a minute ago because we had a frost last night...not looking good for the basil.

One of her favorite things to do is rub the leaves between her fingers, then smell to see if she can name the herb. Mint is a favorite, and I just found out WHY she is so very interested in that particular plant:

"Mommy? Is this mint plant going to be healthy this year? Because I can't WAIT to eat the mints off of it!".

Silly girl. Mints don't grow on plants!

No, no...that's the plant that will grow Mommy's MOJITOS...

To my little man-child. Love, Mom

2010-05-01T19:55:00.014-05:00

Dear Colin,

You turned 9 yesterday. I'm not sure how that happened, since you are--to me--still this guy.

You are still very much a fan of Oreos,

and your bum? I still want to bite it. I can't anymore. Well, I guess I could, but I don't. And that makes me sad. You're welcome, by the way.

So, anyway. You turned nine. And you said you felt taller. You ARE taller. Overnight, it seems. You have braces. And secrets with your friends. You look to me like your dad, but I feel a rush of satisfaction when people tell me, "oh, he's a looker like his Mama". For two reasons, of course. I am thrilled that you have my bluest eyes, and I am always stoked to hear I maybe still have it.

I realized that the last two posts were about your sister, so you were due.

Ahhhh...your sister. You, my friend, have patience with that girl that is commendable. You two are tight--remarkably so--and I pray that it lasts. You often play the "who's your favorite" thing with me, and I am always so relieved to be able to say that you both are. My favorite son, and my favorite daughter. It's a relief, because you-know-who would LOSE that particular little game at least twice a week.

But back to you. YOU? That stunt you pulled last week?

I flew to Kentucky to visit Uncle Scott, and it was not 4 hours after I left that I was in Chicago on my layover when my cell rang. You had SWALLOWED a Chuck E. Cheese token--on a dare from your sister, I hear?-- and were headed to the emergency room. I spoke with the ER folks, gave them insurance information & consent, and boarded my plane. I found out that you were the one who gave Grandpa Ben (babysitter's luck, right?!) turn-by-turn directions to Exeter Hospital---nicely done.

When I landed in Louisville, I turned on my phone to find out that Daddy & Grandma were in the car rushing to BOSTON to go meet you & Grandpa at Children's Hospital. It ended up that you had surgery--you monkey--and had to go under anesthesia and everything.

Wanna hear something funny? When the nurses were doing your pre-surgery history, they asked Daddy & Grandma if you had any allergies. They looked at each other, shook their heads, "umm...nope?". You spoke out from under your little blanket on the gurney..."penicillin". Whoops. You were right! Then, the nurses asked if you'd had any surgeries in the past. Daddy & Grandma exchange a look again..."ummm...nope?". One more time, as you are going under you said, "yeah. 2 surgeries. On my eyes.". I'm pretty sure the nurse decided maybe it was better just to ignore the "grown ups" in the room, and do your medical history with you, as you were clearly the one in charge!

I am so proud of you for handling things so well that night, Colin. People asked me if I had considered turning around at the airport to fly home to be with you. My HEART wanted to, of course. The thought of you with those big blue eyes full of nervous tears? Oh, ouch. But my head? My head knew that you, my friend, are a big boy. Beyond your years in many ways. Clearly able to handle things better than the adults involved, no? Those doctors did a number on you, for sure. You had a gash under your nose and they managed to knock one of your braces off your front teeth when they removed your tube. The gentle touch was a nice bonus---jerks.

Here are some things from your time at Children's. Why do you have these things you ask? A sock, your bracelets, discharge paperwork, the sticky round deals from the heart monitors, even some tube-looking thing that I am gonna guess you weren't supposed to steal? Well, you have them as souvenirs because Grandma grabbed them for me. You wanna know why? Because Mommy wasn't there, and Grandma looks at me through the same lens that I use to look at you. The one that makes our hearts feel all squeezey-tight when we don't know what else to do for our kids.

I'm grateful I have these things, Colin. I held them in my hands, closed my eyes, and said a prayer of gratitude that God allowed you--even though you were a MORON to take a dare from your sister--to avoid any injuries that could have been more serious.

You've started to spread your wings a bit. It was just this week that I said to your dad, all exasperated-like, "Who IS that kid?"!! You try as hard as you can to be naughty, but it's funny. I only have to say, "Colin, you're better than that.". And you always smile, look at the floor and say, "I know.". Even when you try to decide to assert your little independence, it is always a matter of MOMENTS before you are back in my arms begging forgiveness and giving me that squinty smile that your Dad has always remarked is something I do, too.

You've developed an actual SKILL LEVEL in basketball, too! You decided, clearly on purpose, that you were going to learn to play about 2 months ago. Up went the hoop, out came the ball, and you spent HOURS in the driveway just practicing. Shooting over and over and over. Dribbling, blowing it, chasing the ball down the hill, getting it back, dribbling it again, losing it again...over and over. Your patience is admirable. It paid off here, too. Playing basketball with Noah & Caleb is now singularly your FAVORITE activity.

So, in that vein, I took you to your first Celtics game on Tuesday. We got some serious bang for our buck (don't tell Daddy just how many bucks--he can't handle it--), Colin. It was not only the Playoffs, but they sealed the deal and advanced to the next round that night! We had great seats, and you were HYSTERICAL. It was a special night, Colin, and has moved a couple of other things down the list and now has the top honor of my FAVORITE time with you...ever.

You took it all in, got a handle on the situation, then LET LOOSE. I've never heard you scream so loud, seen you on your feet with your fists pumping like that, been quite that embarrassed by your dancing, WOW. You lived every moment of that night to the fullest.

Here's a picture of your two favorite players, Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett.

And here, because this is my blog, and I can...is a picture of MY favorite player, Ray Allen. He's a cutie. Oh, and a decent basketball player.

I wanna wrap this up by telling you one more thing. I got you a jersey to wear to the game that night. I thought long and hard about it, and decided on Kevin Garnett's #5. I was so excited to give it to you, and handed you the package the morning of the game. You opened it, looked disappointed, and then sulked around for a half an hour. I was hurt, upset, and surprised by your reaction. It was one of those, "really? Who is this kid?" moments. You had retreated to your room to be all not happy, and I got on the computer to check my email. I bounced over to your email to check up on your activity there, and found an email exchange between you and your friend Noah. It was time stamped about an hour before you had opened your Garnett jersey from me. It was an email from you to Noah telling him how much you hope hope hoped you were going to get a Paul Pierce jersey at the Celtics game. You couldn't wait. He was your favorite player, and on and on and on.

My heart sank. I had done it. The one thing that I swore I'd NEVER do to my kids...I'd blown a gift. I apparently knew nothing about anything, and had broken your heart by giving you the wrong jersey.

But you know what Colin? You rallied. You had a talk with your Dad about gratitude and some other stuff, and you rallied. Without being told, you found me in the living room, crawled into my lap, buried your head in my shoulder, and apologized. That was enough, Colin.

But you know what else? You know what makes you YOU? You didn't just swallow your disappointment. You spent the entire night showing me how great Kevin Garnett is, and how RIGHT I got the call when I bought that jersey. You pointed out that it was HIS face on the program we bought, that there were more #5 jerseys in the arena than Pierce's #34, and that he couldn't be TOUCHED in free throws that night. You looked at me in the parking lot as we started our trip home and said, "Mom? Thanks for tonight. I didn't even KNOW it could be that great! And Mom? I'm never taking off this jersey.".

And you haven't, as a matter of fact. I am going to have to sneak it into the laundry while we are at church tomorrow.

I love you, Colin. Happy Birthday.
Love, Mom

2010-04-16T11:17:00.003-05:00

Sydney loves to "pretend talk" to her "pretend friends" on my cell phone like ALL DAY LONG. If ever I can't find my phone, I check Syd's purse. Or jacket. Or turn her upside down & shake out her pockets.

I overheard her all-too-familiar chatter last night while she was in the tub. I was NOT looking forward to finding out that the little monster had taken MY CELL PHONE into the bathtub with her.

Opened the door and saw THIS.

"Mom,look! I made a hands-free phone! And when I'm done, I just hang up & brush my teeth!".

And this is, I'm sure, just how Bluetooth started...

2010-04-13T18:03:00.003-05:00

Sydney has a new thing where she gets nervous if she doesn't know EXACTLY where I am in the house at EVERY moment. It is getting very very very old. "I'm in the bathroom, Sydney!". "I'm in my closet, Syd!". "I'm on the other side of the wall, Sydney!". And so forth. ALL DAY LONG.

So today, in a moment of frustration and bad, immature Mommy-ness...I yelled back at her..."GROW UP, WOULDYA?"!!!!!

And she came to me with these sad eyes and said, "But Mom, when I turned six and lost two teeth, you told me to STOP growing up".

Ouch.

2010-04-04T08:09:00.003-05:00

"HOPPY" EASTER!!

2010-03-31T21:28:00.004-05:00

Today we got a pet chipmunk!!

For about a half an hour. Then, he died.

We've had CRAZY rain & flooding around here, and apparently this weather is no good for chipmunks. We found this little dude in the yard, and even though he was still breathing--he was very weak.

Eric's grandfather is a vet, and he said that there was a slim chance that warming him up would bring him around to his "chipper" (haha--pun intended) self. So we brought him in, Sydney rubbed him dry & said really nice things to him in his little ear...

but...well...but then nothing else, and he died. And we buried him out under a tree.

The end!

Never a dull moment around here.

2010-03-26T17:17:00.006-05:00

Look what happened! Sydney somehow turned SIX today. Boo. She's got not one but TWO loose teeth right now. Sigh.

I'm actually thrilled that she's growing up. I'm just bummed that this 10 pounds of baby weight I'm still carrying apparently isn't actually baby weight? It's just...weight? Maybe I can call it "kindergarten weight"? Hmmm...

On Wednesday night, Daddy took Sydney out on a DATE. She thought it was hysterical that one of MY first dates was ALSO with Daddy back in the day!

Today we had some fun girl time together, then a little party here at home.

On Sunday afternoon we will head to Boston to the AMERICAN GIRL PLACE (that's an all-caps kinda place, ya know) with our friends Bridget & Mrs. Shaughnessy. Pictures to come on that one.

2010-03-08T19:58:00.005-05:00

So, here's a neat little fact you may not know about my "mom-ness". I ABHOR theme clothes on my kids. I detest and am a very non-fan of theme clothes. You'll never see Colin in a Spiderman shirt, or Sydney rocking Tinkerbell shirts. The only exception to this preference I have is their underwear. They can go crazy on those...and they do. Cars & Bob the Builder on him; Hello Kitty & Disney princesses on her. But I need you to know that even THEN, it is difficult for me to breathe knowing that under those cute Gap clothes are....*gasp*....theme clothes.

Well--all of that changed when we went to Disney in November. OH MY GOSH...the Mouse got to me. The marketing is GENIUS, man, GENIUS. We came home with Disney mugs, Disney pens, Disney picture frames, Disney salt & pepper shakers (yup--you read that correctly!), and Disney SHIRTS. Many Disney shirts.

Which leads me to today. Sigh. Colin chose his own clothes this morning, and here's what he picked...of COURSE.

A Disney shirt. And not just any Disney shirt...my absolute least favorite one. The GOOFY one. Fine, good, great....his choice, right?

And it was all okay until this exchange:

Colin: MOM! Guess what?? I'm Student of the Week this week at school!

Me: Really, buddy?! That's awesome...nicely done!

Colin: Thanks...and guess what?!

Me: What's that?

Colin: I got to go down to the office this morning, and they took my picture, and it's gonna be up in the hallway, and in the newsletter on Friday, and EVERYONE at school gets to see it...for a whole week!!

Me: ...silence...pause...collecting thoughts. Ummm, honey...was the camera reaaallly close up when they took the picture, or did your WHOLE BODY, like you SHIRT specifically, get in the picture?

Colin: Oh--my whole body! And I'm wearing my GOOFY shirt!!

And that just served as a reminder that one does not have children to boost one's ego.

And there's a better than even chance that the Goofy shirt may meet a tragic end in a laundry incident in the near future.

2010-03-03T16:34:00.004-05:00

We had a huge storm here last Thursday night. We lost power for 4 days.

The power came back on Sunday night.

Both of the kids' fish...did not.

I think if you aren't a dog around here...I just can't make any guarantees.

2010-02-22T20:50:00.006-05:00

Went to a few of our favorite places in Boston today...

They had to check my backpack as we exited the aquarium...just to make sure this guy wasn't in there. I swear--one of these days I'm gonna figure out how to get one home.

That Codzilla thing almost ate Colin,

and then YIKES!

Phew...glad we made it home safely.

Love school vacation week--makes me anxious for summer to get here! It's just so much fun to hang with those kids...

2010-02-20T14:35:00.006-05:00

Dear Winter Olympics,

How DO your NBC correspondents manage to find the most heart-wrenching stories of athletes who've overcome & endured to excel in their sports? Nooo...it's not just a Double McTwist 1260...nooooo. It's a Double McTwist 1260 done by someone who was BORN WITH A HEART CONDITION. Riiiight, of course.

I am writing to see if you could please give me my life back. My way-too-late nights are spent rewinding & re-watching the best crashes, wins, and ceremonies...all while drowning in a sea of snotty tissues. Our mornings? The kids watch the highlight reel while eating their cereal...and they're NOT ALLOWED TO EAT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!

I need sleep. We need to be on time to catch the school bus. We need our couch cleaned.

Hey, guys...maybe just a week instead of two next time?

Sincerely,
The Farris Family
P.S.-- You have to be CRAZY to do that skeleton thing. And ice dancing is boring.

2010-02-15T17:45:00.002-05:00

Every night while I stand in front of the stove making dinner, Pooch stands about a quarter of an inch away from my left foot--in hopes that something may hit the floor. Sydney just passed me this note...

A SENTENCE!! SYDNEY WROTE A SENTENCE! With punctuation and everything!

This is such good news---because it proves that there really IS something other than a family of squirrels dancing to a continuous loop of the High School Musical soundtracks up there in her brain!!

WOOHOO!!!

2010-02-14T11:50:00.003-05:00

Nothing says "I love you" like a Snuggie and some public humiliation via the internets...

And is it humiliating to be photographed wearing a Snuggie, or is the mere fact that you now OWN a Snuggie the real humiliation???

Hmmm....you're welcome, honey! Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Birthday to MEEEE!!!

2010-02-04T19:18:00.003-05:00

My favorite gift of the day was from my kids. It was a book, and on the cover was written,

The Things We Love About Mommy
Written and Illustrated by Colin & Sydney Farris

The majority of the book was incredibly kind ("Mommy ROCKS"), but before you get all "awwwwww, how sweet"...let me share my two favorite lines:

1. We love our Mommy because of how nice she is to us most of the time.
2. We love Mom since she is the 1st nicest person after Dad.

What? Huh?

We'll see if they save themselves when they write Daddy HIS birthday book in April!

2010-02-04T08:30:00.002-05:00

Didn't EVERYONE tell me that it's impossible to kill a beta fish?

Well, we did it in a little over a month. And he didn't just die. He got like all mushy & stinky...like overnight. Ewwww.....

2010-02-01T10:18:00.004-05:00

Colin's turn! Honestly, I was a little apprehensive on the whole skating thing for him, but it turns out he LOVED it! He only fell once (a nice hard one right on the behind, too!), and by the time we left he was really getting the idea.

Here's a little clip. I took this video on his FIRST time around the rink. That makes the video noteworthy not only for how well he's staying on his feet on his VERY first try, but also because he's already asking how long we plan to do this skating thing. HA! After a couple more times around, he did stop watching the clock!

Colin skating! from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

2010-01-27T21:48:00.002-05:00

Every night, the very last thing we do before we go to bed is go up and kiss the kids. I adjust their blankets & stuffed animals, sit and stare at them for a minute, tuck in all their parts until they are warm & snuggly---then give them a final kiss.

This is what that looks like with Colin each night.

And this is what all of that looks like across the hall in Sydney's room each night.

2010-01-24T20:34:00.003-05:00

Took Sydney for her FIRST ice skating experience today! She did really well. In fact, the ONLY time she really fell was not when she was actually skating--it was when she realized she could use the blade to shave off "snow piles", and managed to fall over from a dead standstill. Sporty, that one.

The start of great things:

There was a man who offered to take a picture of both of us together. How nice--so I took him up on it. When he offered, though, he was still ON THE GROUND after just having wiped out again. Should've known we'd have some focus issues. Too bad--it would've been a cute one if he'd been able to snap it BEFORE he started falling backward again!

And this is Sydney in the penalty box. Where she will also most likely spend much of the years 2017-2021, I'm guessing.

They had these great walker deals to help the new skaters with their footing. In true Sydney style, she put a spin on it and decided to shoot the thing 15 feet ahead of her and then skate to it. Well, that's one way to do it. I'm gonna assume that I am, however, the only mother out there who used the actual words "you don't wanna kill any other kids"?

Sydney Skating! from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

Good afternoon. Good times. Colin goes next Sunday.

2010-01-20T09:03:00.000-05:00

Congratulations, Massachusetts. I didn't think you had it in ya.

WOOHOO and phew...

2010-01-15T18:48:00.003-05:00

It's so hard to post again after that last one of Colin busting it out in the shower, but I guess it's time to move on.

....................sigh................

Let me introduce you to our chore chart! It's in the kitchen, and it is my favorite thing in this house. Well, right behind the package of Oreos---also in the kitchen.

Those kids went NUTS today to get these 100 points. I am so proud of how hard they worked, how well they worked together, the lack of complaining, and even the initiative they showed with their willingness to find & complete tasks that weren't even on the list!

All of this work was performed to earn a trip to go see Alvin & the Chipmunks tomorrow...really? All that work? You'd truly have thought there were a couple of his & hers BMW's on the other side today, but nope. The vote is in, and it's the movies. Simple pleasures. Dig it.

And for those of you who can't help but wonder---no, the "extra credit" points are NOT for bringing me food & rubbing my feet as I watch The Bachelor. But I've considered it.

2010-01-05T11:27:00.001-05:00

Taylor Swift shower! from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

Caught my friend Colin in the middle of a "shower concert" last night. I don't know what my favorite part of this little video is.

The fact that it's a Taylor Swift song?
His expression when he realizes he's been caught?
The botched lyrics?
The key change halfway through?
Him asking if I'd like a nice butt shot?

Nope--I think the best part comes right at the end...when he thanks his fans. In a southern accent, no less.

2010-01-04T14:53:00.004-05:00

Colin & I have a little Sunday morning tradition where he laughs hysterically while reading the comics, and I cut coupons out of the Sunday paper. We were sitting together doing that yesterday when he started asking what the coupons were all about. I get STOKED about a bargain, so was more than happy to entertain any and all questions. He got to the one for some new fantastic Olay face cream ($5 off--woohoo!!)...

Colin: "What do you need that for?"

Mommy: "Because I am VERY old, and putting this cream on my face will make me look NOT as very old."

Colin: "Because you want to look like Cindy Crawford??"

Mommy: Laughing out loud--- "ummm, yeah, I guess...but don't you think that I'm already prettier than Cindy Crawford?"

LOOOOOONG PAUSE...

Colin: "ummmmm...I'm not sure."

So--until further notice (like when he tells me I'm prettier than Cindy Crawford!), Colin will not be allowed to watch that stupid infomercial for her stupid face cream which is sold solely on the merits of her stupidly beautiful face.

Geesh.

2009-12-29T19:57:00.002-05:00

This turkey waited ALL YEAR to be our Christmas dinner...see how happy she is about it?!

She can't even stop smiling, eh?

2009-12-25T13:05:00.005-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

2009-12-24T21:17:00.002-05:00

The playdough worked well last year--as in, we got an extra hour of sleep while they played. So stupid me FORGOT the playdough this year, and then Colin's note to Santa specifically mentioned the playdough...so then I had to go under the tree & open the UP movie and VOILA! Problem solved---and if all goes well...that'll be TWO extra hours of sleep tomorrow morning. HA!

...and the stockings were hung on the railing with care, in hopes that the Whoopee cushions would soon appear.

Really? You don't need to hope, my dear children. Your mommy may have forgotten the playdough, but she will NEVER forget the Whoopee cushions.

2009-12-22T11:58:00.001-05:00

So bummed I didn't think of this first!
Hysterical.

2009-12-18T16:13:00.005-05:00

Mitt Romney's official stance on the question of whether or not the world is overpopulated...

....HUH?....

These are just the grandkids, folks!

2009-12-18T12:18:00.004-05:00

We've been doing lots of snuggling with hot chocolate (we snuggle with BLANKETS---snuggling with hot chocolate would be...tricky) and movies around here. It's a Christmas "tradition" that we all love...Mommy especially...not so much because of the movies themselves, but the 2 hours of calm that they represent.

So, we've been on a pretty steady diet of Mary Poppins, Sound of Music, Eloise at Christmas, and the like. Sydney has seen so much of Julie Andrews in the past 2 weeks, and Julie Andrews is her fave fave favorite. If Taylor Swift had a British accent, it couldn't hurt her standing with Miss Sydney!

She's started waking me up in the morning with a "good morning, Moth-ah", and asking "would you care for a spot o' tea?" more than once during the day. It's too cute, but Christmas can't come soon enough. Cause I can't wait to get to March---Syd can do a MEAN leprechaun!

2009-12-09T21:23:00.015-05:00

Today was the first big snowstorm of the year. Oh yeah, baby--8 inches of heavy snow with a nice layer of wet, even heavier CRAP on top. And oh yeah, baby...two weeks before they let the kids loose for 12 days! Apparently, the powers that be thought all of the parents in New Hampshire would like a BONUS day with their munchkins. Good thinkin'! Cause it wasn't like I had a list of errands or anything. Or plans. Or selfish hopes and dreams for this Wednesday. I did. Dashed.

Instead--we spent the day at home in our jammies. The kids' enthusiasm was contagious, though. We ended up making a big, fat, fun day of the whole mess. Sledding, snowball fights, angels & butt-prints in the snow (you must know we did the butt-prints first, yes?), and lots of other snowy fun.

Then we made gingerbread cookies with the recipe from Eric's Grandma Nadyne. Man, that woman must have had some serious biceps. The recipe makes a delicious cookie, but the thickness of that dough is a wooden spoon breaker. It's pretty much like using a rolling pin to get a brick smoothed to an even quarter-inch thickness.

Because the cookie thing was spur-of-the-moment, we had to improvise. Luckily you can't tell in the picture that the white "snowflake" sprinkles on the light blue cookie are actually white GHOSTS left over from the Halloween cookies. Sneaky. Throw in some food coloring & the ice cream sprinkles, and it's a PARTY!

Made homemade pizza for lunch, made an amazing Hoisin steak with rice noodles dinner, shoveled for an hour, washed the sheets from everyone's beds, got caught up on email, and came up with some good ideas on world peace. I'm thisclose to curing cancer---but it was a full day. I think I did enough. Maybe I can finish that up during the next snow day?

Einstein

2009-12-04T12:15:00.002-05:00

WAY TO GO, BUDDY! So proud of you!

Not for nothin', but you may wanna take a walk down the hall & see if those 4th graders could use a hand??!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-03T18:39:00.004-05:00

The first installment of...

...Christmas Tradition Thursday!!

Yes, I know that Christmas Tradition TUESDAY would've had a much nicer ring to it, but I was busy Tuesday night. And didn't feel like it. And hadn't yet bought the stuff for the gingerbread house, and so anyway...it's Christmas Tradition THURSDAY! Yay!

Kids are now hopped up on sugar, and I'll be up yelling at them to go to bed for the next hour. But--it's CHRISTMAS TRADITION THURSDAY!! It's not really about the fallout after the performing of the traditions around here---it's the fun had during.

And we had fun. So I'm gonna call this one a success. And I'm also going to note for you that we will only be displaying the FRONT of this cute little house.

Let's just say the back was our "practice side".

2009-12-01T18:36:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the delay---it's taking me a while to sift through all of the MOST humiliating pictures I have of Eric at Disney. This should hold you over....

HA!

2009-11-27T20:40:00.002-05:00

Just got home from Disney, and we're BUMMED. We had the time of our lives. Everyone. Even Eric. And here's the picture to prove it, as promised.

You're welcome, honey.

2009-11-21T21:33:00.002-05:00

We're in FLORIDA! We're wiped, and we've still got to figure out tomorrow's plans, but thought this was worth sharing.

We are here this week all together to celebrate my dad's birthday...my dad's SEVENTIETH birthday. And here are some pictures of dear old dad...yes, in the pool at the house...deciding that he should go on the whale.

Seventy. Nuts. As my friend Shell says---yup, we're nuts in this family. But GOOD nuts.

More to come! Animal Kingdom was today--and Colin ROCKED the scary rides. Magic Kingdom tomorrow---Sydney's opted "in" on wearing her princess costume. With sneakers. Niiiice.

2009-11-18T16:51:00.001-05:00

Sydney & I were chilling outside this afternoon while we waited for Colin's bus to come around the corner. The bus was running a little late, so I decided to introduce my girl to the fun of staring contests.

I explained how it works, gave her a practice run or two, and we were off.

Round one: Sydney blinks 2 seconds in.
Round two: Sydney blinks 5 seconds in.
Round three: Sydney lasts a whole 6 seconds...then blinks.

I thought maybe we should review both the rules and the point of the game. Got it? Got it. Cool.

Round four: Sydney...blinks.

After another loss, Sydney leans her wide open, beautiful, bright blue eyes in to about a centimeter from mine and says,

"Mommy...let's have a BLINKING contest!".

And THIS is why I'm sure she's brighter than she looks.

2009-11-16T16:52:00.002-05:00

Grabbed this for you off Colin's homework sheet for tonight.

This is hysterical, because it is really just a peek into his little head.

Black. White. Easy.

And there you have it.

2009-11-16T15:08:00.012-05:00

Empty platter? That's where the turkey goes...

We celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday. Well, at least, we TRIED to have a proper Thanksgiving meal yesterday. It all went really very well---right up until the part where I apparently can't cook a turkey. I know it's so cliche, but it's true! Turkey is really hard to get right, I swear!

We will be headed to Florida on Friday, and plan to be on the BEACH next Thursday...so Colin demanded that we have the full turkey dinner Thanksgiving thing before we left. We're doing Disney---stay tuned for those pictures. Eric in mouse ears? Oh, yes. SO YES.

Anyhow---back to Thanksgiving.

Last year, we tried this really neat way of cooking a turkey where you not only put it turkey in the oven upside down, but you also cook it at high heat for an hour, then put it down to like 180 degrees for like 10-12 hours. Last years' turkey was SO GOOD. So good. Except it occurred to me--as I pulled a pink slimy turkey out of the oven 11 hours after I started the process--that I didn't COOK last years' turkey. Someone else did. Someone who can do the math required to adjust the cook time to do the slow-cook-method thingy. I cannot be trusted with math. Or turkey.

So, we had a really nice family dinner. See the plate? Yummy, huh? A full Thanksgiving feast. Of veggies. And bread. And stuffing. And more veggies. And then there was the wine---lots of that---it made the whole "no turkey" thing not seem like such a big deal.

2009-11-07T09:00:00.003-05:00

I realized that I hadn't updated the blog in a while, and we've all been kinda sick over here--so there's not a whole lot to share.

Except, of course, our plans for today! YEEHAW and WHOOPEE! Mommy's feeling better, so the "lists" are back! HOT DANG! The kids are trembling with excitement, too.

Yes, it's a little Type A and OCD and all of the rest...but it's pretty gratifying to be able to see things get ticked off a list.

Colin's got toilets, Sydney will be tired & complaining after her first thing, my list only looks short, and Daddy's? Well, it IS short---and I can almost guarantee he won't do either thing anyway. Shocker. So--you can just move those two things you see there onto Mommy's list & know that they WILL get done.

We're OFF!

2009-10-26T19:04:00.018-05:00

My kids are nerds. There--it's out there on the table. Nerds. You need to understand that I do not at all feel that it's a bad thing. It's just a true thing. See, we go to lots of museums. And historical whatnots. And places where there's not a whole lot to do other than read signs about things are a) dead b) about to be dead c) extinct or at least d) very old. And we like it. All of us--even Sydney. Sydney who has (on her good days) the attention span of a hummingbird after his morning espresso. She oohs, ahhs, and manages to keep up and stay interested as Colin stops to read EVERY. BLESSED. SIGN. along the way.

Yesterday, we went to a place called Plimoth Plantation. Well--you can read it for yourself. www.plimoth.org There. Check it out. Anyhow...cliff notes? It's a re-creation of a 1627 English farming village in the middle of the Wampanoag homeland. You are able to visit not only the settlement, but also the native's village. It is SO COOL. (See--told ya we're nerds) Colin has been doing the whole Mayflower/Pilgrims thing in class, so a trip seemed like a great idea. He was able to really get a handle on how things worked back in 1620 and Thanksgiving and the Mayflower and all of the rest of it really came alive for him. There are "residents" along the way, and I've gotta tell you...they literally will NOT break character. You could walk up and stick a wet finger in their ear, and their little British accents & Olde English chatter wouldn't skip a beat.

Colin had many great questions, and did a great job of stepping right up and articulating them. He asked about how the boys learned to hunt, where the children would have gone to school (they didn't then--he thought that was cool), and how church worked.

Sydney? Ah, Sydney. First, she was absolutely mortified that the Natives had no pants on, Mom! No pants! Not for nothing, but I was really trying as hard as I could to see what was going on there under the little flap of cloth, because REALLY? I was looking at bare butt---one stiff wind, and I can't believe I wouldn't have seen things I would've had to later confess to Eric. Anyhow--I digress.

Once she got over the pants-less-ness of it all, we moved over to the English settlement. She noticed after visiting a few little houses that everyone seemed to have a clay pot under their beds. She thought it was funny that they ate in bed, and then I had to gently break the word chamberpot to her. Grimace. Giggles. More giggles. And sure enough---she raised her little hand, said "excuse me" and proceeded to fire off "where do you guys empty your potty-pots?". Without hesitation, Little Miss Pilgrim went into a far-too-detailed explanation of the "community dung pile". Thanks, lady, for that.

And then? She told us how they actually SAVED the urine, put it in a large whiskey barrel, let it ferment, and then it turned to lye--which was used to make soap. HA! If you think that Sydney did not fall onto that dirt floor right then & there when she found out that they were washing their hands with PEE SOAP...you'd be incorrect.

We then went over to the waterfront and toured a replica of the original Mayflower. Again, the kids were enthralled. Sydney was a little loud in her protestation that this ship wasn't actually going to TAKE us anywhere...but she was still into it. Colin asked another great question of the navigator, and got to sit with him and learn how all of the tools worked on the boat. Good stuff.

Overall, it was a great day. I think we all learned a little something. I would imagine you did, too. I mean...don't even ACT like you knew you could make soap outta pee?!!!

Another great day. Love being Mom to these guys.

Scared? Or just backed up?

2009-10-23T16:46:00.002-05:00

We have movie night on Friday around here...which is movies, popcorn, sleeping bags, and then the kids get to sleep in the living room. It's fun, and always something we all look forward to.

Tonight we are watching Firehouse Dog. There was a part about 10 minutes in where it's not scary, really, the screen just gets dark & the music gets all ominous for a second. I was in the kitchen getting drinks and I heard Sydney say...

"Colin! Colin! Hold my hand for a second during this part---I think my belly is getting scared!". And then I heard the music die down & the scary part was over. Then, as I came around the corner, I heard her say, "Oh, wait...I'm not SCARED, I need to POOP! Hey, pause it, wouldya?!". HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....

Potty humor will never get old. And Sydney will never stop saying poop...so we should be covered.

2009-10-19T19:09:00.003-05:00

Fall is HERE!! It's official! We were having a little mini photo shoot for a church thing with the kids and some of their friends today, and it ended up just being a mad hour-long playtime...and a GREAT reminder of why fall in New England is actually so very cool. Even if it did snow in OCTOBER yesterday.

AND--know what else? Michigan KILLED Delaware on Saturday. THEN, yesterday? Tom Brady & the Patriots not only broke records all over the place, but they did it in the SNOW just like old times. I thought this weekend was pretty great, but--nope--today was even better!

(Thanks, Lisa, for the pictures...I remembered snacks & shin guards for soccer...I should get a pass on forgetting my camera, yes?!)

2009-10-12T17:50:00.010-05:00

We had our friends over today for a pumpkin carving party! Note to any of you planning a pumpkin carving party with 5 kids under the age of 8---SCOOP THE JUNK OUT FIRST. We would seriously still be standing out there right now working on these things if we hadn't done that first. As it was, it was really 2 Mommies carving pumpkins while 5 kids were playing soccer in the yard. The kids DID choose what they wanted, though.

Which leads me to:

Colin chose the ghost...intricate, took time & patience, detailed and interesting. Sydney chose the smiley face which made it look like if you listen veeery closely, you can hear the pumpkin say "ah-hyuck, doy??".

2009-10-08T20:04:00.003-05:00

WOO HOO!!! It's a pet-a-palooza around here!

Meet the newest member of the family...Cutie Patootie!!

There were many names batted around; Bun-Bun, Bunny M. Bunnelsworth, Fanny Le Bun, Here Kitty Kitty, and so on. The reason why we settled on Cutie Patootie? Well, we all kinda agreed that's what we are going to always call the flipping thing anyway...so, Cutie it is!! Except you have to say it in a baby voice with your lips all puckered like "Cutie Patootie doo-dee-doodle-da-doo-dee". Yeah--you've got it!

And Sydney will have Cutie dressed up in doll clothes at a tea party in three...two...one...

2009-10-06T19:33:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was Pooch's BIRTHDAY! Pooch's THIRD birthday! And there was a small to-do over here. As there is every year. There was a general degradation of Pooch' pride. Cause that's how we roll..................

We have always put our dogs and other pets in a tough spot each year. Pooch is probably dying to tell his friends that his way-cool humans throw him a party with presents and hats and decorations every year to celebrate. There's always even a peanut butter dog cake with peanut butter frosting---which is more than a little like a peanut butter brick with peanut butter on top.

The only problem with the P-man bragging about his party would be that he would then have to confess that he has to wear an outfit each time. A little cutie-patootie birthday outfit. And then be photographed repeatedly. And then those blasted humans put it out on the internet.

So, that usually leaves Pooch going "la la la...what? what birthday?".

Happy Birthday, Pooch! You don't look a DAY over 2!

Back to school---part three!

2009-09-29T11:49:00.004-05:00

Observations on school, courtesy of Sydney.

"Mom, did you know that everyone in my class at kindergarten is the same age as me?!"

"Mom, guess what else??? EVERYONE on my bus lives in this same town as me!"

Public school, Sydney...public school. There's kinda an everyone-must-live-within-the-town-limits sorta prerequisite. Kinda like there's kinda sorta a trend that has to do with everyone in kindergarten being...ummm...right around your age.

Smart girl.

Mia Hamm

2009-09-20T19:02:00.001-05:00

Sydney is just too too too cute in her little soccer uniform. And really, that's all I can say about that.

Mostly because that other picture there? Of her playing with her hair? It's really one of about a dozen I could post that are just like it. It's pretty much what soccer has been about for her so far. Her hair.

Cute outfit though, huh?!

Back to school---part two!

2009-09-10T18:36:00.003-05:00

Not for nothing, but do you see how they're walking away from me here? See it? Is this how it starts??

Once again...ouch.

Sydney's first day today...pictures of both kids' "firsts" will come soon.

Back to school---part one!

2009-09-09T20:35:00.003-05:00

I just got the backpacks all packed for tomorrow morning, and I was just sitting there looking at them up on the counter...and my heart hurt.

So I was all, "honey, doesn't that just make your heart hurt?" and Eric was all, "ummm...nope?".

Can I get an amen from SOME mother out there? Huh? Heart feeling squeezed? Like, oh, where does the time go?

Ouch.

2009-09-05T19:19:00.010-05:00

Today? A banner day. A perfect day. A red letter day. All caps. Highlighted.

I have a "bucket list". If you haven't seen the movie, you should. It's a list of things I'd like to be able to check off before I (or someone else, conceivably) die. There are many silly things on it (have a frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity in NYC with my 3 best girlfriends from college), and some important things on it.

One of the important things was making sure my kids each get to fly with my dad before one of us kicks the bucket. (preferably him)

Most of you know the story, but I have this sweet, cute little scar over my right eye that came from an eye injury I suffered in a PLANE CRASH!! with my FATHER!! in HIS PLANE!! when I was younger. So, needless to say, it has been a couple of decades since I've had the urge to go up with him again. I have flown all over the world since that crash, but it has usually been with some Valium, Jack Daniels, lots of chardonnay, and even more tears & white knuckle grips. Honestly, that has broken my heart not just because I love to travel and the "getting there" mostly stinks for me now...but more so because my father loves flying. He loves to share flight with others. Loves his planes arguably as much as or maybe even more than (?) he loves my mother. Let's just say that if my mom were in the plane and the plane were on fire, he just might use her very body to smother and put out the flames. And then be so glad it worked. And then, a half hour later, remember she was even there.

So, today it happened. It was awful. It was amazing. There were tears. My gag reflex was on full alert, and there were times that my bowels were threatening mutiny. I called my mom as Colin was taking off, and suddenly realized as I was talking to her that 2 of my top 5 favorite people (yeah---everyone has favorites--don't judge) were in that plane together. Off the ground. In front of me. She laughed at me...out loud. And then the plane disappeared from sight, and it was about the sweetest thing I've seen as they came back around on the horizon. I've got a bit of video below, but my nerves were a little nuts, so I managed to miss Colin's whole takeoff. I got Sydney's, but really? The focus? Nerves again. At least by then I was a bit less...ooohhh...hyperventilate-ey...

They loved it. My dad loved it. I loved it. I am so glad that today was the day. I am so glad that my kids are total rock stars and were so excited to go up even though they not only were able to sense and see my fear, but have also heard only like a hundred times that I'd rather put steak knives in my eyes than go up in my dad's airplanes. So proud of them. I'll never forget this, man. Never. Bucket list #17...check.

Then we came home to brownie sundaes in front of the TV as Michigan beat Western Michigan in their season opener...and all was well in our world. We are blessed. Blessed, indeed.

2009-08-26T21:03:00.004-05:00

This is the sight that greeted me when I was awakened at 7AM this morning. Apparently, a good old rousing game of jump-on-the-bed resulted in a fall into the corner of Colin's desk. Yeah---I know it's gross, but it tells the story, dontcha think?!

It ended up being better than it first appeared, but there's a chance I'll be headed in for a stitch or some glue tomorrow, because the gash is deeeeep and was still bleeding a bit 15 hours later.

Poor kid got his palate expander in at the orthodontist last week, and we are using a tool to ratchet that thing out each day for 4 weeks...which has caused aching in the jaw & some headaches for the past few days. And now THIS??

The poor kid, dude. He's the man, though...it's like he just never learned to complain.

And yes...I DID actually take a picture BEFORE getting him any aid. Cause that is also how we roll!

2009-08-24T20:30:00.002-05:00

Colin's swimming from Jennifer Farris on Vimeo.

As many of you who know Colin's "story" are aware, he has always been a bit of a slow-starter in most things physical. Not walking until 2, tricky time drinking out of a cup still at 3, peddling a bike came late at 5, and so on.

He had taken swimming lessons with his best pal Luke a couple of years ago, and he hadn't exactly kicked butt & taken names, if you know what I'm sayin'. I let him quit, and just assumed that swimming would come. Problem is, Colin often has a mind-over-matter issue where there is no apparent physical issue. Swimming this summer was no different.

As of about 3 weeks ago, Colin was terrified to go into a pool without water wings. About 2 weeks ago, Colin mistakenly went into water that was over his head, about crapped his pants, and struggled to the side of the pool. And last week? Last week, Colin DECIDED to swim. I say decided because Colin very clearly didn't "learn" to swim, he just reached inside himself and was BRAVE ENOUGH to try. And that is my boy. That has been my boy's story all along, and that is why there are tears in my eyes right now.

And this is my boy today. On the big slide at our community pool. Not the little slide. Or the middle slide. The big slide.

Love you, baby.

2009-08-17T19:34:00.002-05:00

Kids went down to the garden earlier to pick the crazy-over-producing grape tomatoes, and came running back up to the house with this.

MOM!!! THIS TOMATO LOOKS LIKE A BUTT!!!! CAN WE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUT IT ON THE BLOG???

Well, of course we can---cause that's just how we roll...

2009-08-15T18:53:00.005-05:00

Another hike today! This was just a quickie, only 2 1/2 hours up & back and an elevation of only 2850. It was funny because Colin asked me not once but twice why we did such an easy one, and when were we going to go on one that was harder. Crazy boy...it was, after all, 90 degrees today. The breezes at the summit were appreciated!

I decided to let the kids control the picture taking for this one, which is why you see about 3 or 4 good pictures. The others were Colin's butt, Sydney's butt, up Colin's nose, up Sydney's nose, an eye here or there, some tufts of grass, out-of-focus clouds, and the like. I took a couple of the kids just so it wouldn't be a total loss. You're welcome for the closeup of my teeth. No orthodontics...can you believe it?

One highlight was Colin getting to see the scenic railway train from the summit; we've never actually seen anything on the tracks from up there. SO...this resulted in him practically SPRINTING down the mountain to catch it at the base depot before it took off. You'll see by the picture that we made it (although Sydney bloodied her knee in the rush!)...and it very quickly became his very favorite memory from today. We even had to find the conductor (in the bathroom, the poor dude) to ask when they were pulling out. Luckily, it was within minutes, so Colin got to watch it leave. Bliss.

Last hike of the summer next week...praying for temps below like, ummm, 90?!

2009-08-12T19:02:00.002-05:00

Buried them there kids at the beach today, I did. Hilarity ensued.

2009-08-10T19:29:00.003-05:00

The postcards telling kids which teacher they've been assigned for the next school year came in the mail this past weekend. And know what? THREE girls called Colin today (girls calling boys? geesh) to see who he'd gotten for a teacher. Oh, and one email from Emilie, of course.

And know what ELSE? I feel pretty good about that.

(I'm also feeling very good about the fact that he got Mrs. Thompson for 3rd grade rather than the unfortunately-married-named Mrs. Butt. I'm not mature enough for that...someone at school clearly has my back.)

So, anyway, Colin...you go on with your bad self, killah...

2009-07-30T20:29:00.002-05:00

Casey Jame - Killing Me from Matt Underwood on Vimeo.

I'm mostly just so excited about this because I actually figured it out...which is no small FEAT! But, for those of you under a rock who haven't heard, this is my niece, Miss Casey Jame Shuler. The video is from her live performance in Louisville, KY a couple of months ago synced with the original track from her EP.

So proud of this one, and so glad I've figured out a way to link her video here, so you can go PLEASE! TELL ME HOW I CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THIS GIRL! And I can go...HERE! You can find her self-titled CD (Casey Jame) on Itunes and at Amazon.com. You can also see her at www.caseyjame.com or go to her myspace page at www.myspace.com/caseyjame. Not enough? Follow her on Twitter! Facebook! Flickr! And even better? Buy some of her merchandise so that her dad will maybe have enough left over to leave me a little somethin' somethin' in the will!

Congrats, Casey! Love you, Missy!

Sam & Pooch...looking forward to their civil union...

2009-07-28T18:16:00.006-05:00

Yup--you're not seeing things. That dog really IS that big. And Pooch really IS that small.

We're dog sitting my friend Sarah's horse---errr, dog---for the week, and things are going just about as swimmingly as you'd expect. We've put a dog who is stupid enough to bark at his own reflection in a mirror in a small space with a 400 pound puppy. They take turns being scared to death of each other. There have been loud barking competitions, much wrestling, and the customary fights over rawhide.

One thing we didn't anticipate? The humping. Oh, the constant humping. On Sam's part, not our Pooch's.

Which, honestly, is akin to watching a hippopotamus make sweeeeet luuuuurve to a squirrel.

A study in contrasts...

2009-07-24T19:35:00.002-05:00

Did God allow a mother's children to have such very different personalities so that on any given day there would only be ONE you wanted to strangle? I can't say who it really was during the day today, but it was both of them for many of the same reasons tonight. I actually wanted to just contrast the two little monkey's personalities in this post with a couple of recent stories, but I've just had to go up the stairs for the HUNDREDTH time since they were put to bed an hour ago. I got sidetracked.

Okay. Illustration one:

Both kids got balloons at a cookout thing a couple of weeks ago. Time to go home...I remind them both that sometimes the transfer to the car can be the trickiest part of balloon ownership---so careful. Colin immediately asks if he can please stuff his in the trunk so there will be NO RISK of losing it. Sydney? She decides to play balloon vs. sunroof the whole way home, and promptly LOSES it. Tears and gnashing of teeth ensue. And you know what happens NEXT? Colin no longer wants his if she can't have one too. Grrrr.... Mommy & Sydney have small talk about personal responsibility for the benefit of Colin.

Illustration two:

I have just made chocolate chip cookies, and they are still so hot. Like, the chips are made of molten lava at this point. I offer the kids a cookie when they cool. Colin would like his to please be put into the fridge so that there will be no chance of getting burned or any unpleasantness. Sydney steals one while my back is turned, burns her tongue on a hot chocolate chip, and runs screaming from the room. She will not return with kind words for me or my stupid cookies for at least 15 minutes. Colin is left shaking his head. Second talk about personal responsibility. He smiles.

Illustration three:

We went to Barnes & Noble bookstore today...one of our very favorite things to do. Spent a good long time there, and Colin got a big chapter book. On the drive home, I caught a glimpse of him in the mirror...head down, intently reading, thoroughly engrossed in this actually quite advanced book. I smile to myself, then tip my head a little to get a good look at Sydney. She is staring at herself in the reflection on the window and has a finger stuck up EACH NOSTRIL. She is singing A Spoonful of Sugar to her friend in the window.

Ahhhhhh................

2009-07-15T18:37:00.006-05:00

We went on our first hike of the summer today! We decided on a loop that would hit 2 summits, first Welch Mt. and then Dickey Mt. It is billed as a rather challenging loop, but my kids have a truly amazing love for hiking. Like, as in, they're like 20 year olds when we do it. No fear, no exhaustion, and every corner turned is like Christmas. I LOVE it. So, here's the story of our 4.4 mile "loop" hike, as told in pictures, with a couple of other notable hightlights at the end.

1. Here's where we were about 45 minutes into the hike. According to my little trailguide thingy, that should have put us at the first summit, Welch Mountain. We ooh-ed and ahh-ed, and had a big snack. Then, we all shared a good joke about how glad we were that we didn't have to climb that crazy looking sheer cliff in the background! As fate would have it...

2. Here's us standing at NOT EVEN THE TOP of the ACTUAL summit of Welch. Looking down on where we thought was the ACTUAL FRIGGING TOP of Welch. Good joke, huh?

3. Continuing ascent. Colin got a good laugh at the top when he turned around & said "guess what? If I don't use my hands and bend over...I'll totally roll all the way to the bottom". HAHAHAHAAA!!!!

4. Sydney...doing what she calls her "mountain monkey" climb. Trooper.

5. YAY! A summit! Of something! We think we're at the end before our descent, and we roll out our full lunch. Thing is, we are still under the assumption that picture #1 was the summit of Welch, and we are now on Dickey. Again, snarky comments made about the crazy idiots who would want to climb that scary looking thing in the background. Enter a woman who says "are you kids doing the whole loop, or just this summit?". I'm all--this is the end of the loop, as in summit 2, and she's all---yeah, actually, no. See that right there? THAT'S Dickey...see ya at the top!! Kids ask "Mommy, are you sure you packed enough snacks for this?!" Mommy makes mental note to ration...

6. See that there? With the rocky trail? That's where we had lunch, ya know, on Welch, where we thought we were done? This is now 45 minutes AFTER said lunch, still on way up to summit of Dickey.

7. On our descent, both kids yell "Mom! Pooch is here!". And I am completely blown away by the fact that, indeed, Pooch seems to have stowed away in our car, snuck up the mountain, and is now doing his best to camouflage his presence. It's the stillest I've ever seen him sit! (It's a tree stump, folks!)

8. This is back in the car, about 10 minutes out of the park...headed home. I took the picture while flying down the highway at 80, and took it to show how wiped the kids were. But really? Really? All I've done is set myself up for my child endangerment arrest...because look veeery closely....

.....yeah.....Syd's not buckled. Nice. Remedied that immediately.

So, there are about 20 other awesome pictures, but you get the idea. The only other highlights?

**the nice old lady who asked Sydney what was in her backpack, and before she could answer...I said "Mommy's FLASK"! She didn't get the joke.

**there was a group of about 10 boys from a local camp there hiking the same loop. They were all about 15 or 16 years old. They were right along with us most of the 4 1/2 hours, and every SINGLE time we would approach and pass them, Sydney would yell "YOU GUYS GONNA LET A FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL BEAT YOU?!" Sure enough---we beat them down, and they ALL shook her hand. She was in HEAVEN.

**a pit-stop about 3 hours in where BOTH kids decided that no, in fact, they didn't just have to pee, but also both had an immediate and severe need to poop. So, I made it very clear that pooping was something that was really so uncool on a hike, and I sent them a little ways off the path with napkins and strict instructions to NOT SAY THE WORD POOP. They were to act like they were ONLY peeing---or better yet? Collecting flora & neat insects for their 4H club exhibit. Good. Yes. Got it. Then I heard the footsteps. Around the corner comes Henry the very-serious-70-year-old-avid hiker man (walking stick, wool socks, fanny pack, wide-brimmed sensible hat that breathes)...RIGHT as Colin yells, "MOM! THIS POOP IS A WICKED HARD ONE--IT'S GOT STAGE FRIGHT I THINK!". Henry the Hiker stops. Stares at me. I stare back at him. He opens his mouth to say "are you aware that your two monsters are taking CRAPS about a foot off the marked trail?" And I open my mouth to say "are you gonna carry the soiled napkins down the mountain IN YOUR BACKPACK ABOUT 7 INCHES FROM YOUR NOSE, or am I?". Yeah, that's what I thought. Good day, sir.

A FANTASTIC day overall. Tomorrow we head to Boston. Where there will be indoor plumbing.

2009-07-14T10:25:00.002-05:00

Overheard last night as we were putting the kids to bed:

ERIC: Uh, oh, Syd. Looks like the Feds were here.

SYDNEY: Huh?

ERIC: Seems your room's been tossed.

SYDNEY: Huh?

2009-07-06T18:13:00.002-05:00

Summer is here. Which means...so are the busy days. Busy. Like, unbelievably busy. I am sure I wouldn't want it any other way, but it's busy.

We like to plan our summers to be pretty FULL. We have a method that works for us. You know how during the year, your kids are always asking "can we do ___?" or "can we go to ___?". Most of those things really do sound fun, but all require full days or even overnight trips...which isn't practical during the school year. So, we keep a "summer folder" of flyers, newspaper ads, internet pages, jotted down ideas, maps, brochures, etc. Then, the day after school gets out, we make a fat breakfast & open our folder full of all of the stuff we were interested in during the year. Then we get out the calendar, & plug 'em in! Add to that a beach day each week, library visits on a specified day each week for the summer reading program, 2 hikes a month, and we're BOOKED. It's really great, because having the kids hear no or we can't go is no sweat during the school year... because it just goes into the summer folder!

And---truth be told---it feeds my need to have everything alphabetized, color coded, spreadsheet-ed, and planned. Everyone wins!

So---I'll be posting some pictures of our adventures throughout the summer. Stay tuned, we've got some fun stuff planned! For now---here's a favorite from today:

The kids are going to VBS this week, and today they learned about Abraham & Sarah and their almost-sacrifice of Isaac. Sydney was all "MOM---listen to THIS--"!!! She started in on the story, in excruciating detail (because that's how Sydney rolls), and was really doing a great job of remembering the details. I listened carefully, but then just casually said the name Isaac, because she couldn't seem to remember the son's name. Dead silence. Mad face. Hands on hips. Sydney says, "seriously?? you've HEARD this before?!!" Turns & stomps out of the room. HAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

So, yeah, Sydney. 10 years of Christian school, 4 years of Christian college (okay...3 1/2, but that's another story), ummm....yeah.....I've heard it before.

Sydney does NOT like to be anything but the only know-it-all in the family.

Stay tuned for Summer Spreadsheet of 2009!!

2009-06-16T19:18:00.003-05:00

Sydney is at the stage where she can read a few words, but THINKS she can read entire books. She thinks she can read these books because they are books we've read at night for the past so-very-many years, and she's heard them hundreds of times.

One of the favorites is Madeline. A classic. She told me tonight that she would do the reading, and launched off into an almost-perfect recitation of the book...memorized quite impressively.

Until this page. Her rendition went like this: "And all the little girls cried, boohoo, we want our independence changed, too".

Which is amusing for the sole fact that her father and I are on our knees praying every single night that Sydney's independence changes as well.

Ahhhh...irony.

2009-06-08T12:11:00.002-05:00

Is there anything that says start-of-summer quite like a Slip & Slide? I can't think of anything.

I also can't think of anything more "real deal" than Colin's hysterically LOSING HIS MIND with glee in the background of that picture of Sydney.

I thought I was telling a story with the expression on Syd's face in that one...but I think Colin kinda steals it, don't you?

Play ball!

2009-05-27T15:21:00.003-05:00

Last night we went to see the Sea Dogs (Red Sox farm team) play the NH Fisher Cats. We had a BLAST! Colin & his best buddy Luke were able to go out on the field for a "parade", because they had participated in a reading challenge at school. It was pretty cool. Here are some highlights, chosen strictly because I think they all truly capture the essence of each of us.

Colin? Psyched to be there, totally all in for the fun. Sydney? Psyched strictly for the 4 pounds of peanuts she managed to wolf down in the first 2 innings...and when the peanuts are gone, really? What's the point of even staying awake? And finally Mommy. Ahhhh...Mommy. Well---what do you THINK Mommy was there for?!

2009-05-14T11:37:00.000-05:00

I am thoroughly convinced that there is NOTHING
Sydney would not do for gum.

2009-05-06T20:09:00.002-05:00

I KNEW IT! I SO KNEW IT!

I was volunteering in Colin's class this afternoon, and his adorable friend Emilie got up from her seat & went to Colin's table to pass him a note. I just winked at him, he winked back at me, but then HE got up & passed HER something a minute or two later.

THEY WERE EXCHANGING DIGITS!! HA!

I found a note in his backpack the other day that had her email address on it...ooohhhh, boy....I had no idea this was gonna start this early. Yikes, but really---awwwwww....!

2009-05-05T07:13:00.002-05:00

"Sydney, what is this number?"

16

"ummmm....onety-six?"

Kindergarten, here we come!

2009-05-03T18:26:00.004-05:00

Colin just had a birthday a couple of days ago. Eight. Wow. I like to write both of the kids a note or something to celebrate the occasion. It's always a little something about how I feel about them, or who they're becoming, or to reflect on some part of their character or personality as those things develop. I was going to do this for Colin, but he ended up kinda writing it for me yesterday.

His Nana had slipped a ten dollar bill in one of his birthday cards. Colin has been saving---and I mean saving; I've actually given a bank teller a ONE dollar bill before--money in his little bank account. He says he's saving it so that he can "buy a truck when I'm 16". It's almost $150 now, and I'm so proud of him. Anyhow---I was sure he'd want to put that money right in the bank responsible-boy-that-he-is, but thought I'd ask if he'd rather buy a toy or something.

I think it may actually be the first time he's ever considered BUYING rather than SAVING---whose kid IS that? I digress...

So we headed off together to get some toys. I told him specifically in the car that the entire $10 was for him. HIM. Not to buy something for Sydney, not for his friend Luke, not for Daddy or for me...HIM. And, of course, if he had money left over afterward, we'd throw it in the bank. We headed straight for toys. He went down the Barbie aisle. "Just something small-ish for Sydney?" NO!

I redirected him, and we finally got to the aisles that would work for him. He held that $10 bill like it was made of GLASS, and slowly walked up and down the aisle doing the math. There was a really neat thing that he's been wanting, but it was $9.97, and he said he'd rather make the money go farther (it's like he's adopted?!). He finally settled on a toy for $6, and another one that was $2.97. I explained that this was gonna leave him with a dollar or so extra, and he said he knew what he would do with it. I assumed the bank, or maybe some candy in the checkout lane. Whatever. Good. Decision made.

When we got to the checkout counter he told me, "I've got this...I'll take it" (ouch--my heart)---then handed the cashier his two toys and his $10 bill. She handed him back a dollar and change. I was really trying to be quiet & let him handle things, but I gently reminded him that he'd forgotten about spending that last dollar.

He looks at me, cocks his head to the side and says, "do you think they have one of those buckets for the sick kids in the front of the store?".

I took his hand, led him to the display, he folded that dollar into the smallest little wad he could, and put it in the Children's Hospital container.

And then I fell to my knees right there and hugged him just hard enough to make sure that I will never forget what I felt in that very moment.

Colin, you are an amazing boy. You are making a difference every single day, buddy. We are blessed, my friend.

I love you with my whole heart.
Love, Mommy

2009-04-30T16:20:00.004-05:00

This is a photo of how I looked when I went OUT IN PUBLIC this afternoon. It was a day that made the top 5 of "what the??" kind of days. Here's the rundown.

1. Morning starts at 6:30 with Colin running down to tell us the potty in his bathroom was "overflowing"---which usually means that it's sounding funny or there's a poop that won't go down. So, I got up & put my contacts in...took my time...but then the kids started YELLING that it was an emergency. DUDE---it was like the movies. The bathroom floor was FLOODED (with clear water, thank God), and the toilet was still flowing over the sides. Flowing. I threw every towel in the place on the floor & tried to get the thing to stop flowing, but nothin'. Then I heard what sounded like a sink on, and realized in HORROR that it was coming from the kitchen. Ran down the stairs. Kitchen lights all POURING water out of the fixtures. Yelling to get Eric, he bolts down & turns off water...then there was much more drama and yelling and crying and standing there in like total shock. Had to cut some of the seams in the sheetrock in the ceiling to release the water & pressure. Long story short: don't know what caused it & don't care. Gonna deal with it.

2. Today's is Colin's birthday (I have an EIGHT year old!), and he was dismayed that the whole Niagra Falls in the kitchen thing was gonna put a damper on the hey-it's-my-birthday-and-there-better-be-monster-truck-shaped-pancakes-for-me thing. Soothed the situation with pancakes that were round --but they were served without me smacking anyone across the face with my spatula. The kids decided to consider that good enough.

3. Cleaning helps my mood & since it was so beautiful out, I decided to clean outside rather than in. Started a raking, weeding, mulching project that ended up taking almost 7 hours to complete. There were about 35 trips up and down the yard with wheelbarrows full of mulch. Looks great out there, but I can't feel my legs/back/arms. The kicker? I managed to upset a nasty swarm of ants...noteworthy because I am ALLERGIC to red ant bites. They were less than happy & stung me all over the place, causing my ears & neck to turn red, swell, and itch like you don't even understand. Ever see the movie Hitch with Will Smith? Yeah---like THAT. awesome.

4. THEN Eric lets me know that yes, in fact, I DO need to go to Staples and pick up his whatevers for his class tonight. And he needs them, oh, like now-ish. So, folks...I went to Staples. I've been out with only minimal makeup & with minimally clean clothes in the past. THIS was something else entirely today. I did not put on ONE BIT of makeup, had actual mulch between my flip-flopped toes, and let's not forget that my neck & ears looked like I just described in #3. Threw on an old hat & rolled. Colin went with me & looked over in the car and said, "wow--mommy--you don't look good at ALL". Thanks.

Honestly, there were a few other things, but you get the idea. I think I'm just gonna call it a day, not operate any heavy machinery (just in case), and hit it early.

SLEEPOVER!

2009-04-28T20:15:00.004-05:00

Colin has his buddies Noah & Caleb here for a sleepover tonight. And honestly, it being called a "sleep"over might be a bit of a stretch.

This picture was taken when the movie started---see how happy everyone looks? Yeah--that didn't exactly last much past the closing credits. THAT'S when it all went downhill; starting with Caleb & Colin requesting Twinkle, Twinkle and Jesus Loves Me respectively, while Noah started in with the chorus of So What by Pink. I complied, but told him that even So What has to sound sleepy at bedtime, so I quietly & beautifully started, "na-na na-na na-na naaah" ---which went well until Noah jumped up & screamed a chorus solo. Laughter ensued & then it was suddenly 20 minutes later.

Caleb rolled of the air mattress & bumped his head. Sydney realized she wasn't invited to the actual SLEEPING part, and lost her mind. Colin spilled water on his shirt & had to make a production of getting a new one. And underwear. And pants. Noah mistakenly passed gas & just about died of embarrasment---which is new to my kids. Nightlights were discussed & adjusted to everyone's liking...only to find out that some of the light in the room had actually been from the sensor light outside---so readjustments were necessary.

We are now at Colin & Noah in the playroom and Sydney & Caleb up like happy little clams in MY king-size bed. I have been up the stairs between the older guys in the playroom & the younger guys in my room about a hundred times. I have sung songs, given kisses, rubbed backs, and stroked heads. Four of 'em. Which, in fact, is no small thing for me. See, I was one of those Baby Wise moms. Which, unlike the Ferber method of gradually easing yourself out of the bedroom routine, means that you help them until they're 12 weeks old and then you say, "You've got this thing, kid---see ya!". Or at least that's how I played it after 12 weeks.

So---I'm feeling tired, but very nurturing---and with any luck--this bedtime thing that started at 8:30 may actually be over by 10.

Cause Mama's got some America's Next Top Model on DVR, thankyouverymuch.

2009-04-14T19:29:00.004-05:00

These are pictures of Sydney. With a carrot in her hand.

This is noteworthy because Sydney has NEVER had a carrot in her hand. Like, ever. Sydney has never had broccoli, tomatoes, cucumbers, corn, or any other vegetables in her hands. She has twice eaten a pea or two, but this only after having CUT IT IN HALF with a butter knife. Not kidding.

That picture on the right there? That's Sydney saying, "dude...I GET IT...I GET IT...!!!".

So--here's the story. Sydney had her five-year-old physical today, and I caught the nurse in the hallway before we went in to suggest some, ummm...."tough love" for our girl. Sydney DOES NOT eat vegetables, and REFUSES to wear her bike helmet. Now I take some small measure of pride in the fact that I am not generally a pushover, and I have done my very best with both aforementioned problems. I have made reward charts, promised gifts, threatened to back my van over her bike, punished, and come very close to stabbing her with a fork during dinner. But this nurse? This nurse was a genius, man.

The helmet? Nurse Dawson, ARNP has scared the crap out of her. In fact, we went to the post office after the doctor's office, and Sydney stopped dead on the sidewalk to ask if maybe it wasn't a good idea to even WALK without proper protection for our heads. She has talked of nothing but "smooshed brains" all day. HA! Didn't have my camera with me, but Syd had her helmet on while she was on the swingset tonight. HAHAHAHAHAAAAA....

And the vegetables? Oh, my, did the nurse lay it on thick?! Talk of losing one's hair, bags under one's eyes, brittle bones, poor eyesight, weak teeth, and such have convinced Sydney that maybe the vegetables are not such a terrible thing after all.

So here's Sydney's first foray into "vegetable land". Godspeed, miss girl. Godspeed.

2009-04-10T12:31:00.002-05:00

THERE. IS. A. GOD.

Goodbye winter. You stupid head. You good-for-nothing-started-with-an-ice-storm-and-9-days-without-power-inconvenient-and-cold-mess piece of garbage. We used to love you, with your fluffy white snow and your hot cocoa afternoons. Well, you've ruined all of those memories for us.

You were too cold. You broke our pipes and spewed defecation throughout our basement. You did your very best to kill our favorite willow tree. You broke our shovels and gave us sore tailbones after many falls.

We will not miss you. We will not.

2009-04-07T11:45:00.001-05:00

Uh-oh.

I thought George was a secret.

Darn you, TruGreen...

2009-03-31T12:43:00.003-05:00

I got all of this stuff for FREE today! Free! As in, $0.00. Like zero dollars and nothing cents total!

Shaw's has a rewards program for families with young children (called Ducklings...check it out), and every once in a while they give you stupidly stupid ridiculous coupons for stuff. Usually it's money off, but today's email was vouchers for FREE stuff. Did I mention there were no dollars spent? In FACT, folks...I even got register rewards totaling $2...so technically, they paid ME! HA!

Really, I know it's so fully lame, but this is truly the most exciting thing that's happened to me in a couple of days. Other than a really good episode of 24 and some good hummus eaten with a good friend last night, and being able to catch up on old DVR'd Ellen episodes while on the treadmill...this is really about it.

Bet you're all jittery with anticipation for the next post, huh?!

Sydney is FIVE

2009-03-26T18:21:00.004-05:00

We decided to have a "breakfast birthday party" this morning, because we were all gonna be in different places by dinnertime. Let's just say that everyone is slightly more nutty in the morning.

It's funny, too...because I thought that NOT starting the day with a huge chocolate cake would make things less crazy. Turns out that extra-loaded cinnamon rolls kinda have the same effect as the cake would've. Whoops.

Yes--you'll notice Mommy is absent in the photos. Breakfast was at 6:45. Did you REALLY think I'd be on the other side of the camera?

Happy Birthday, Sydney!
We're glad to know ya! Love! Mom, Dad, Colin, and Pooch.

2009-03-16T15:23:00.003-05:00

Oh. My. Gosh.

Colin goes to this church thing called Pathfinder's every Friday night. It's kinda like an AWANA program. Anyhow---they have homework and different little things to do during the week. One of those things is keep a prayer diary. We also have a family prayer journal that we write requests in, so there was a big gap in Colin's Pathfinder's one because we've just been using ours. I just went into his notebook to find out what Bible verse they are memorizing for this week and found THIS.

It's funny, because my first thought was to be completely mortified and call his teacher to tell her that in no way was I AWARE that Colin had written this. Then I was suddenly even MORE mortified to think that she knows me & my whacked 8-year-old-boy sense of humor well enough to probably have believed that I, in fact, was completely on board with praying for one's bodily functions.

Which is actually accurate, I guess. Because my very next thought was that I don't remember Daddy's flatulence being particularly bad any time around the 9th of March. So, really...doesn't this just go to show that God is listening? Ah, the power of prayer.

Too harsh??

2009-02-20T16:21:00.002-05:00

Is it? Too harsh? I really don't think so. You know WHY NOT? Because, what I really wanted to say was,

"listen---you two--I have bought you like 2 pairs of scissors A WEEK since the time Colin turned two, and I am SICK TO DEATH of no one ever having scissors around here. And I am SICK TO DEATH of going to MY desk to find A PAIR OF SCISSORS only to have NOTHING in the spot where my scissors are supposed to be. And the next time I can't find my scissors, well, when I DO find them, I'm going to go to your rooms and cut big holes in ALL OF YOUR FAVORITE STUFF so that you'll cry and possibly, for one second, know how frustrating it is to HAVE YOUR STUFF TOUCHED. "

That's what I meant to say. You should be impressed with my restraint.

2009-02-13T11:27:00.000-05:00

Rock on, young man, rock on...

2009-02-05T17:42:00.004-05:00

Sydney got a box in the mail today that was full of a bunch of new clothes from The Children's Place. They have really great sales every once in a while, and I had a coupon, so I bought her a bunch of things for school & for this summer. She immediately ran to try everything on & check herself out in the mirror.

I was watching her as she was doing this, and it struck me again how affected she is when she thinks she's pretty, or has new earrings, or is wearing lipgloss, or whatever. Her walk immediately becomes a "strut", she juts a hip right out there like it's out of it's socket, and her little chin tilts so she can look at you out of the corner of her eye.

I am so keenly aware of this, and want to discourage this whole "the clothes/jewelry/makeup make the woman" attitude....so, I pulled her up on my lap to have a little chat real quick. I explained to her all about inner beauty, and that I will be the most proud of her not for how she LOOKS, but rather for who she IS.

And as a final hurrah before putting her down, I kissed her forehead and was going to remind her that "pretty is as pretty does". I got as far as, "pretty is...." and she brightened right up and finished my sentence with...

...."DEADLY if you're smart, too!!"

Looks like Daddy beat me to this talk. I'll be sitting HIM down for a talk later...

Sonic

2009-01-29T19:57:00.003-05:00

Just saw this baby hedgehog on abcnews.com, and I'm seriously thisclose to a dangerously high blood sugar level. My teeth itch, it's so sweet.

My birthday is in a week, and I'm now going to email this picture to Eric with a subject line that reads: pleeeeeease??????

2009-01-19T19:16:00.001-05:00

Sydney's got a story to tell you...I couldn't get it to load here, so you'll have to click the link to hear it.

Enjoy!!

http://www.vimeo.com/2888785

Joke of the day...

2009-01-12T18:27:00.001-05:00

"Mom...guess what?"

"TURKEY BUTT!!!!"

I have heard this at least 67 times today.

Funny only twice.

2009-01-06T16:32:00.003-05:00

So here's what REALLY happened...

Colin loses tooth while on toilet. Mentions that it's a really good thing that he was pooping and not peeing, or tooth would have gone INTO toilet, instead it landed on floor. Excellent point.

Colin runs outside with tooth in hand and shouts. I am startled and knock little-tiny-almost- invisible tooth from his hands. Into the pile of leaves, dirt, sticks and grass I'm standing on.

Colin flips out that the tooth fairy cannot come if there's no tooth.

My friend Shell who was here gently explains that can't be true because LOTS of kids swallow their loose teeth by accident. Colin is momentarily silent as he ponders where a swallowed tooth would end up. Smart boy...gets a good laugh from that one. Then he gets back to business, because THIS tooth wasn't swallowed, oh no, it's right here in the grass. Panic passes between Shell and me. This is the WRONG kid to be swayed...he's gonna find the tooth or die trying.

LIGHT BULB.

I had saved his last tooth...it being his first tooth lost and all...HA! Shell distracts Colin with the "looking" while I run inside and locate (buried, really BURIED in my drawer) the replacement tooth. Tuck found tooth deep into my hand and run back out to Shell to do the hand-off of tooth. Shell, a chiropractor by trade but CLEARLY an actress at heart, announces that "WOW!! LOOK!!! I FOUND THE TOOTH!!! IT WAS RIGHT HERE IN THIS PILE OF LEAVES!!!"

Day is saved. Colin is none the wiser. Yet. He's quite smart & most likely already had his baby teeth numbered and will note the discrepancy someday when I hand him the precious little box of all of his baby teeth...umm....minus one.

Parenting is lying. It just is.